Wednesday, April 27, 2011

It's Not Over

Sunday, March 27th, 2011

Most people think that once the abuser has left the abuse stops. That is not always, and not usually, the case.

Getting out from under the control of an abuser takes a lot of work. It isn't that once he leaves the house he takes his control with him.

Since his arrest last June, I have broken free from a lot of the control he had on me. Another big part of his control was lost when I was on the stand testifying in court on Thursday. I was able to voice many of the things that he has done to the kids and I over the past 11 years, while he was in the room to hear it. I didn't look at him; I couldn't. And, for the most part, he didn't look at me. He just sat there with a mad face on, looking down.

The piece of his control that I am feeling today is is refusal to let us have the car. The kids and I haven't been able to go to church for 3 weeks in a row now. Usually we go with a friend of ours, but she has been sick. I hate that I have to depend on others for transportation. I feel that I am still being abused - I am being belittled and degraded by not having a vehicle, which is because of his refusal to give us, or at least let us use, the only family car we have. He isn't driving it, it's been sitting out at a local garage since last July. In fact, he doesn't even have a Driver's License to drive it.

I still don't have full control. And, I am still being abused by him.

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